Five Keys to Leading Effective Small Groups

Small groups can be an intimidating endeavor for a new youth worker (usually a volunteer) who's never sat in a circle with five or ten teenagers. It can be awkward and can feel like there is a lot of pressure to change the lives of each student in the short meeting time. It can be even more intimidating when you hand them a 150 page book on how to lead effective small groups. So, this is a crash course in leading small groups that I developed for the small group leaders at our church. We have a lesson (app. 20 mins) where everyone in the group is together and I teach them. Then they break into small groups and discuss questions about the lesson. But regardless of what type of format you use for small groups this would work for any question and answer time. Maybe this will help you and your small group leaders in their ministries.

1. Try to use open-ended questions that foster discussion. Avoid “yes” or “no” questions. If a yes/no question is unavoidable, ask the question “why” they answered that way. Our goal is not as much to tell them what to think, but to allow them to openly come to a conclusion and discuss it with the group.
2. Don’t be afraid of silence. In a small group of teenage boys or girls there will be awkward silence. Do not be afraid of it. Many times if a question goes unanswered, the leader will try to answer it for the group and the group remains stagnant. Feel free to give students a chance to think about their answers, even when it gets a little awkward.
3. Do not feel like you have to discuss every question. If question 1 or 2 spurs lots of discussion feel free to let them wrestle with it and talk. Our goal is to foster spiritual discussions, not to get through every question on the list.
4. Try to keep the students on task. While you don’t have to get through all the questions, your goal is to see that the students are interacting with one another about spiritual things. So if the discussion is still related to the topic or is somewhat spiritual, let them go with it. Now, when talk turns to that incident that happened in the hall between 5^th and 6^th period or what girl is interested in what boy, then it’s time to bring it back on track.
5. Feel free to ask your own questions. The questions in the lesson book or on your handout were created by someone creating the lesson. They are certainly not the complete authority on what things in these passages we should be discussing. So if something comes up and you want to ask a question that is not in the book or on the list, fire away!

Getting Adult Involvement in Youth Ministry--Baby Steps

Many churches have the mentality that hiring a youth director/pastor/worker will solve all of their youth-related issues and they can "wipe their hands clean" of all things youth. But those in the trenches of youth ministry know that no youth program will ever be effective if it is the youth worker's one-person show. Lots of youth workers ask the question, "How do you get parents and volunteers involved?" I was just asked this same question by a fellow youth worker who was fairly new to her congregation and was facing a sense of apathy from many parents of youth. So, I laid out for her how we've made the progression from getting them to bring their kids to getting them involved and recorded my thoughts here. This is not the only way or even the best way...just the way that has worked for us.

1. Rely on them for planning. Almost every youth program has events throughout the year. The last thing a youth worker wants to do is plan a retreat while half the youth group is going to be at a band contest, or plan a mission trip when a large number of kids will be at cheerleading camp. Parents are an invaluable resource for simply synchronizing the calendar so that youth events are at a time that are most convenient for everyone.

2. Get their help with mundane, but necessary tasks in the youth program. Just about every church has a minimum requirement on the number of adults that should be at every youth meeting, event or trip. Also, many churches have limited transportation (only one church van, or maybe two vans and only one driver). Recruit parents to be "warm bodies" at meetings and drivers and chaperones on trips. This just gets them used to being a part of the program.

3. Move into more spiritual roles. Many youth groups are set up in a small group ministry model where kids spend time developing relationships and learning in small groups with kids their own age and gender. The next step for many volunteers will be to spend time as a small group leader. While some ministries require a lot of planning and preparation, our small group ministry will be for a short question time at the end of our Sunday night Bible study. It is my hope and goal that these small groups will begin to do some activities on their own outside of the regular youth group meetings.

What has worked for you in your ministry?

The Importance of Empowering Volunteers

One constant struggle in many youth programs is finding people who will REGULARLY commit to attend your meetings and be with the students. Some people are reluctant to do this. Others are doing it because church policy requires more than one adult at the meetings. Then others just jump in with both feet and may cause more problems than if they had never come at all. Recently, despite all the adults we had attending our meetings, things were still getting out of hand with the kids and my workers were sitting there somewhat idle. I was trying to figure out why I was doing most, if not all of the discipline. I approached my volunteers at our youth team planning meeting and realized that they were not sure if I wanted them to do that or not. You see, for me, being in youth ministry, I have a clear idea of what I expect from my kids and my workers and how things should flow on a Sunday or Wednesday night meeting. However, I had not passed that information on to the parents and workers. They did not know what my expectations were of them and did not want to overstep, so they sat on the sidelines at our youth meetings. This was a HUGE error on my part. So in the interest of time, I created a few basic guidelines for behavior at youth meetings to give them then we discussed them at our next meeting.

You see, with different types of parents and volunteers who use different styles of parenting and different ways of relating to the kids, these parents and workers have different ideas of what should and shouldn't be done at meetings. Ultimately, though, they need and to know what we and the church expect of them. So, here are three things we need to do with our workers:

1. Give them clear guidelines on discipline and expectations. Make sure they understand what behavior is inappropriate and acceptable. I'm not a big fan of placing rule posters all over the room...I think that sends the wrong message to the kids. So make sure youth workers know where the lines are and give them the freedom to enforce them. Ideally, these guidelines can be decided by the team of workers who attends youth meetings, but if it will be a while before your next meeting, the guidelines may just need to be given to them from you. This will be easier if the rules are more tangible (i.e. nobody outside the building unless we all go outside as a group or your ride is here to pick you up). The more vague a guideline is, the more reluctant your volunteers will be in enforcing them.

2. Make sure they understand that youth ministry is relational--you WANT them to interact with the kids. They need to know they have the freedom to engage the students, ask them about their day at school, and build those relationships with them. It may sound obvious to us, but many youth volunteers may not realize they need to do this or that we want them to do this. Help them understand that you as a youth minister cannot personally get to know each kid in the program and that your personality will click more with certain kids. Help them understand that you need their help to build relationships with kids in the group.

3. Thank them for their time in volunteering. For some who feel obligated to help, it may be an uncomfortable experience to get involved with the kids. It doesn't hurt to pat them on the back for a job well done. This can be as quick as an email, a note in the snail mail, a "thank you" announcement from the pulpit on Sunday, or maybe take them to lunch with your robust professional expense budget! Whatever you do, make sure your youth workers understand you appreciate what they do for your teens.