Youth Ministry: Preparing the Child for the Path

I posted yesterday about my own spiritual journey and the role that hard times have played in my understanding of God and how he relates to us and also how he wants us to respond to him. Today I read an email account of someone who was at a Regent's banquet at a high school in Texas.

The guest speaker for this banquet was Brad McCoy, who is well-known as a football coach, but even more well-known for being the father of Colt McCoy, who has been the face of Texas Longhorn football for the last four years. Being from Texas, the celebrity status of the nearly-national championship team hits close to home. In fact, I know a couple of the players on that UT football team who happen to be from my home town of Palestine, TX...but I digress.

According to the email, Mr. McCoy shared his story about the recent events surrounding the National Championship football game in which Colt was injured on the third play. He shared how God worked through this seemingly dire situation for a young man who had played over 40 consecutive games only to get hurt at the very beginning of the most important game of his life. One comment that was quoted from Brad McCoy was the philosophy that he and his wife share in raising their children, "You prepare your child for the path, rather than prepare the path for the child."

As I thought about my approach to youth ministry, these words resounded with me. I think many times youth workers do try to prepare the path for the child--and I used to be one of them. We are so busy building a hedge around our kids to shield them from the perils of the real world that our kids learn to live in a purely Christian bubble. We take them to Christian concerts and Christian youth days at our favorite theme parks. We show all the latest Christian movies by Christian production companies and teach lessons based on the movies. We give them Christian T-shirts and bracelets with witty acronyms and slogans on them so they won't stray from their faith. We encourage them so much to avoid certain activities that inadvertently they avoid anyone who does those activities. I'm afraid, many times, these kids will learn to function within the confines of a church, but not in the real world, because the real world is nothing like this Christian bio-dome we've created. These students will not know how to be relationally evangelistic because they will not have any friends who are not Christians. Now some people go too far the other way and really just teach that Christianity is just a supplement to a number of other important things in their lives. I don't agree with that either. I'm not saying Christian movies or T-shirts or events are bad--many of these things are good. But they shouldn't be our source of identity as Christians or four our teens in our youth groups. So how do we prepare students for the path of life, rather than preparing the path for them? How do we find that balance in what we teach without creating a Eutopia of shallow kids with a huge stash of Christian T-shirts, bumper stickers, and bracelets with abbreviations on them? Here are some things I think we can do.

1. Don't be afraid of the world in which our kids live. Let me make a distinction here. I think there is a difference between addressing the world the kids live in and embracing it. Truth is absolute. And I believe all truth comes from God. But I think truth can come in many forms and does not necessarily have to come from a “Christian” source. Rob Bell said in Velvet Elvis that the word "Christian" is a great noun, but a horrible adjective. I happen to agree. When the label "Christian" becomes the primary component of our filtration process, we can miss a lot. Jesus is the ultimate revelation of truth. But, if there are things students can learn from movies, music, books that aren't "Christian", we should be open to embracing the truth found in those things, even though they don't have the adjective "Christian" somewhere in their description. Something doesn't have to be labeled "Christian" to be true, but somehow we try to teach our students that truth can’t exist in anything that doesn’t come from a “Christian” source. So when they see a Scientologist or a Muslim teaching about loving one another or some other tenet they share with Christianity, it creates a crisis of belief for the student. An example of this occurred a few of years ago when mainstream Latin rock band Los Lonely Boys released the song "How Far Is Heaven,"-a prayer asking God to deliver the writer from the trials of life. The song quickly became a smash hit on pop radio. Not long after the song's release, the song was covered almost note-for-note by Christian Latin rock band Salvador and the song became a huge hit on Christian radio, even though many listeners now feel the original version is superior. Why did the song have to be “Christianized” before certain radio stations could or would play it? God's truth doesn't have to come in a box with the word "Christian" stamped across the top. By allowing students to see truth in their world, they are less likely to have this philosophical meltdown when they realize that someone who isn't a Christian can have similar views to their own. But they will also be able to know that their beliefs are founded on who God is and how he was revealed in Jesus Christ. Likewise, they will be less likely to abandon their faith in Christ for some merely humanitarian ideology that isn't centered on the person of Christ because it looks similar to Christianity.

2. Teach them to serve others without regard for a person's religious views. I've served a number of churches over the years. It seems many of these churches were great at taking care of their own members, but not very good at meeting the needs of those outside the church. Their own members who were elderly, sick, or poor, were nonetheless saints of God who lived out their faith daily. These are important people and most certainly should be helped. But when we serve someone and do not question where they attend church or whether or not they have put their faith in Christ, students learn from it. I'm not saying we shouldn't be evangelistic. I'm saying our agenda should be showing love to someone rather than making a convert. If God opens the door for them to put their faith in Christ, great, but love should be our motive, not a notch on our Bible or another church member. Another possible outcome is students may wind up serving someone who isn't overly appreciative or friendly, which creates a different internal reaction to the time spent serving. Learning that everyone we serve in love is excited and appreciative of what we do creates an unrealistic expectation of how real people in the "real world" will respond to loving assistance from followers of Christ. After Katrina we had a chance to do a mission trip in New Orleans. We worked five days on two different houses and never met the homeowners the whole time we were there. No thank you notes. No appreciative phone calls. Nothing. My students came back with a different sense of what it meant to serve someone who, at least in the students' eyes, didn't appear to be thankful.

3. Give them opportunities to spend time with local Christian students from other denominations. One thing the youth pastors and leaders in our area have a passion for is building unity among the teenage members of the body of Christ across denominational lines. So we plan three to four events a year that allow students from all denominations to meet together in worship and prayer. This shows the students of our area that these other students are on their team. They may go to different churches. They may do some different things in their worship. But they are on the same team! I believe doctrine is important to every denomination. Students should know what their church believes and what they personally believe. However, something is wrong when we get so ingrained with denominational doctrine that we spend our time arguing with other Christians about things like the methodology of baptism or predestination vs. freewill instead of joining our brothers and sisters under the banner of Christ to impact our communities for the glory of God. Reading Jesus' conversations with the Pharisees we can see what Christ thought of legalism. Yet, we get so dogmatic sometimes about the aspects of our faith that are less important that we forget to focus on the things that are most important. If our students refuse to fellowship with other students because they don't baptize like we do, or they have a female pastor, or they speak in tongues at their church, we have done something terribly wrong. Paul encourages us to look past our differences in Ephesians 4:4-6. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

We live in such a godless society, it is easy to get caught in the trap of trying to create the perfect Christian kingdom for our students. But when our goal is to prepare them for life after youth group, or after high school, our focus is not on creating a perfect environment, but rather on creating a student with an arsenal of tools to deal with a cold, harsh world that has lost its sense of who God is. What things do you do in your ministry to "prepare the child for the path"?

The Role of Pain in a Healthy Approach to Ministry

I consider myself to be somewhat "connected" to the world outside...not just the people around me who I do know, but those whom I may have never met but exists in similar circles (musicians, worship leaders, youth workers) through the miracles of modern technology. One website I frequent is basically a forum for youth workers and other ministry personnel to come together and ask questions and debate various topics. I recently posted a debate about an upcoming youth event which was met with a lot of criticism. And I began to examine why my approach to ministry is different from a lot of people who serve the church in the same capacity I do.

From a loss standpoint, I grew up in a pretty sheltered way (and for that I am thankful). I never had to go through the pain of my parents divorcing when I was young or losing one of them in an untimely death. Having no siblings, I never sent a sibling off to war or felt the loss of losing one of them. I had lost grandparents, but their deaths were timely for the most part and time had given them an opportunity for life. My life for the first 25 years, although not perfect, was in many senses ideal. But the quarter-century mark was not a good time in my life. I went through a divorce and lost my wife of nearly 3 years whom I'd been in a relationship with for nearly 5 years. For the first in my life I hurt in a new way. And not only did I hurt, but no one in my circle of influence was able to stop it. Not my parents, not her parents, not my pastors, not my friends. I was left there in a town with no family and few friends to weather the coming storm. In that time I hurt in ways I never had before and had an overwhelming desire to kill that pain.

Just prior to my divorce, our church had lost its senior pastor and I was the only ministerial staff person. My best friend had moved out of town six months before as well, and I remember the feeling of having never been that "alone". My church really did not know how to minister to me and take care of me. In that particular denomination, divorce is kind of a "hush hush" subject and people have all kinds of views on it. Also, during this time, I was serving as a youth pastor, a choir director, and was going to seminary full time. The pain of divorce, the lack of community, and the shear stress of personal and professional pressures put me on a roller-coaster ride for the next two years. This ride came to a screeching halt the weekend I graduated from seminary when I found myself in another life-changing situation that was beyond my control.

Spiritually depleted, emotionally broken, and just plain exhausted, I resigned from my church staff position a couple of weeks after getting my Masters Degree in Christian Education. Having no plan or job, I moved back in with my parents at age 27, trusting God that he would show me the next step of the journey. During this time I became a part of a great church and was able to make a decent living selling insurance for a very good company. But I was hungry for ministry. Two years to the day after starting at the insurance office, I took a position as Director of Youth Ministries here at First United Methodist Church in Palestine. The Methodist Church was a good fit for me because it didn't carry all of the stigmas I'd experienced before. They were just excited to have me on board. That was nearly four years ago. And my ministry now is completely different than it was when I was in my early 20s. The thing that makes my approach to ministry different is the pain I experienced.

In Scripture, the greatest stories of triumph (Moses, David, the missionary journeys of Paul) are the ones that stared the darkest fates in the face and rose victorious by God's grace. Having been through trials, I approach things differently with my kids hoping that when they face the gut-wrenching pain of loss in their life they will be able to weather the storm better than I did. I don't try to convince myself that we live in a perfect world and that if we follow Jesus everything will turn out right. God has a way of making things harder on us in such an amazingly wonderful way. I also worry less about the smaller things and worry more about whether or not they are "getting it" when it comes to faith in God. I also try really hard not to isolate them from things that are in the world. Many people in my line of work feel that by talking about something, we are somehow promoting it. Jesus talked about a lot of social and moral issues in his day, but by giving lip service to these issues he was in no way condoning them. I would rather a student encounter a taboo message under the leadership of Christian adults who love and care for him than to have him run across it late at night when surfing the internet or watching movies at his friends house. If I can't be the one to talk about these issues with him, then who can?

I am thankful that God has placed me on this amazing journey of life and this amazing journey of ministry. Since my hour of darkness, he has since blessed me with a new wife and family. But I can't erase the scars of what happened. And to not learn from those experiences and to not pass that knowledge on would be doing a disservice to my students. I feel my ministry now has more focus than it did prior to this dark time in my life. I now teach with the goal that when my students hit rough water they cling to it rather than abandon it. And personally, there is no substitute for the role it had in my life and ministry. If you are in ministry or any area of service in your church, what personal experiences have shaped the way you carry out God's call on your life?

A Different Approach to Evangelism

Last week, I went to a United Methodist ministry conference centered on evangelism. Now, there was a time, when I thought any sentence that had "Methodist" and "evangelism" in it was not to be taken seriously. Since the United Methodist church did not throw around the "evangelism-y" lingo I was accustomed to growing up--passing out tracts, four spiritual laws, the Roman Road, or knocking on doors--I assumed it was just not an important concept. Especially since Methodists seemed to spend so much time taking care of physical needs like building wheelchair ramps and buying mosquito nets.

I learned something, though. I was mistaken. It's not that Methodists don't do evangelism. It's that they do it differently. You see, I grew up in the Southern Baptist Church. I went to a "leadership" camp when I was in 7th grade that taught me how to share Christ with others using a little square tract that unfolded into the shape of a cross. As I grew older, I learned about other ways to share God's plan of salvation--most of which required memorizing statements or scriptures and then worrying about how to work those canned statements into conversation. And I'm not saying these were all bad. I certainly learned what Scripture teaches about God's plan to draw me into fellowhsip with him through the death of his son, Jesus Christ. But it always seemed sort of forceful.

In the Methodist church, the reason we don't talk about evangelism as much is because we are just expected to DO evangelism. This doesn't mean quoting scripture or knocking on doors. What we are called to do is come along side those we know who are living outside of God's kingdom and establish a relationship with them. Through establishing that relationship and letting those people know that we care about them, we then have an opportunity to share; not a tract, or a canned statement of faith; but rather a story of how this God of the universe has totally wrecked our lives in such a glorious way! The picture above is called "Offer them Christ" and is a depiction of John Wesley (the founder of Methodism) sending off Francis Coke (who really got the Methodist movement going in America) to America. That is what Christians are called to do, right? Offer them Christ. Not a canned speech. Not a booklet or a tract. Offer them Christ.

I'm thankful for all the things I've learned. I'm also aware that thousands of people have come to faith in Christ because they picked up a tract or someone quoted them a series of scriptures. But where is the relationship in that? What happens after the tract or booklet is dropped off? What happens when the conversation is over? That's where relationship is key. Paul said he became all things to all people that by ALL MEANS might save some. Our approach to sharing the gospel doesn't really matter as long as it is founded on relationship. It is my prayer that we can all learn to establish relationships with those who may not be living in the Kingdom of God. What are your thoughts on sharing Christ with others?

The Most Important Factor in Getting Kids to Church

I've been doing this thing called youth ministry now for a long time...and wouldn't you know, I'm still trying to figure it all out. I've read books, been to conferences, sat in formal classes, discussed with my peers, joined discussion forums, and just about everything else I can do to understand these slightly-smaller-than-me people God made called teenagers. While everyone will say that numbers don't matter, there still seems to be this unwritten pressure to get more kids in the door. Youth leaders like me are always discussing the perfect event, the perfect activity, the perfect format for our meetings (you know, hang out, then structured games, then worship, then Bible study), the perfect outreach event or trip, and how important small groups are to our ministries. And these are all good. But I think I've figured out the #1 factor in whether or not a student attends a particular church or youth group. That factor is....friends.

Yes, friends. Why do some kids want to go to a different church than where their parents go? Friends. Why do some of the kids who come to your youth group have no family members in your church? Friends. Why do some kids whose parents are very involved in your church choose not to come to youth group meetings? Friends. How could friends cause them not to come? Because their friends are not at youth group. The people they consider to be friends are in 7th period algebra or on the basketball team with them. They are playing video games with them on Friday nights before crashing out on the living room floor with a half-eaten bowl of popcorn.

So, what do we do when a kid in your church doesn't consider the other kids in the youth group to be "friends"? This is a common thing in my group as we have 5 school districts and nearly 10 campuses in the area around my church. I also changed churches my 7th grade year because I was the only kid in my youth group who went to a particular school and felt I had absolutely nothing in common with the other students there (which was true). I went to a smaller church with a smaller youth program because of one thing. Friends. So here are some things to help kids connect and make their "friends from church" just their "friends".

1. Schedule games and activities that encourage the kids to interact with each other. Play silly games that encourage interaction and team building.

2. Allow for informal relationship building with time for kids to hang out. Video games are a great way for kids to connect with each other.

3. Encourage kids to spend time together outside of youth group.

4. On short trips, discourage your kids from bringing video games or MP3 players to encourage interaction with one another. (On long trips your kids may go crazy without these things and will probably eventually bond anyway.)

To be honest, though, I wrote this post not because of my expertise, but because of my frustration. It seems the main reason I have some kids who are not as active is because they don't consider the kids at church to be their friends. Some of them attend other churches. Some don't come at all. Some of my kids who do come are very active because of the friendships they have there. What is it that you do in your youth group (or out of it) to allow kids who go to different schools or run in different social circles to build relationships and become friends?

Why I'll be Showing a Blatantly Non-Christian Movie at Youth Group

Some time earlier this year (I think around October), my wife and I had some rare, kidless downtime and found ourselves in Tyler (the nearest town with several decent-sized movie theatres) with a few hours to kill and a few extra bucks in our pockets. Being that we were an hour's drive from home and had just showed up at the theatre hoping to catch something good, we realized we didn't want to wait 45 minutes to see the new Sandra Bullock film. So we opted to see "The Invention of Lying" which started in just a few minutes. We had heard no reviews about the movie, but with a cast that included Jennifer Garner, Tina Fey, and appearances by Rob Lowe and Phillip Seymour Hoffman, it looked promising to say the least. Two hours later, I found my heart and mind in a tug-of-war wrestling with a number of ideas that had been presented in a very different way. Because of the response it created in me, I immediately realized I had to show it to my youth group and allow them to be presented with the same questions that were presented to me during the film.

I did not include a link to a movie review of this movie because the opinions surrounding this movie are as varied as the number of people who've written them. I didn't want you to read a Christian's conservative review blasting the film as "blasphemous" nor did I want an extremely open-minded review praising its satire, which many people found just plain offensive. If you have not seen the film, I would urge you to resist temptation and see it without reading anything about it beforehand. I will say that the film was co-written, co-directed, and starred in by professed atheist and British comedian Ricky Gervais, famous for his role in original British version of the hit comedy series, The Office (the pre-cursor to the wildly popular American version). Without giving away too much information on the movie (you can google all the movie reviews you like), I can say that "The Invention of Lying", whether by intent or not, makes a case for atheism much the same way "Facing the Giants" or "Fireproof" makes a case for putting faith in God. In the course of the story, this movie takes numerous less-than-subtle stabs at Christianity, Jewish traditions, and the whole idea of faith in general. It is rated PG-13 for language, some sexual material, and one drug reference. So why will I be showing it to my youth group after it is released on DVD January 19th? Here is why.

1. I think we learn more about ourselves and what we believe from people who disagree with us, than simply by listening to people who are echoing our own thoughts. As I left the theatre after seeing this movie--while my blood was boiling because many parts of me felt like my faith, which I hold ver dear, was under attack--I began to process the argument that had been presented to me through this subversive, yet light-hearted medium. For me, it wasn't something that caused me to question my faith, but rather solidify it.

2. We must be challenged in order to grow. The metaphor of a muscle in the human body being broken down in order to be rebuilt in a bigger, stronger way has become cliche, but it holds true. If you have ever been through a physically strenuous workout, whether running, or lifting weights, or some other form of exercise, or if you've exerted yourself physically more than usual, the next day, you will find you will be quite sore--sometimes in places you didn't realize you had! That is because using our muscles excessively causes them to break down, then rebuild themselves in a stronger manner. Likewise, many houseplants (from the way I understand it) will not really start to grow, until their roots have found their way to the sides of the pot. So challenging my students will cause them to ask some really important questions and in the proper environment we will be able to answer their questions.

3. Creating a bubble for our Christian kids does not paint a clear picture of reality. I've known many people in youth ministry (and I have been there myself) who feel it is our job as youth leaders to shield our precious children from all the reprehensible stuff out there in the world. We encourage them to only listen to Christian music (especially on youth trips) and only watch "G" or "PG" rated films. And while this can work in the vacuum of youth group meetings or even a week-long camp, it's not realistic to assume that our students follow these same ideals when they are not at youth group functions. Now, does that mean I show the latest Quentin Tarantino movie at our next movie night? Absolutely not. However, our job as youth workers is not to shield them from the world, but rather to give them the means to adapt to the culture they are in and to do that from a faith-based standpoint.

We've all heard the stories about the student who goes off to college and find his faith challenged by some philosophy professor who thinks Christianity is all a bunch of garbage, or the other college student who is too busy partying to remain true to his Christian beliefs that may or may not have ever truly been his own (as opposed to his parents). I feel that if youth workers are to be effective, we have to get our heads out of the sand and be aware of the culture our kids live in and give them the tools to help solidify their faith.

Do you agree with this approach? Would you show this movie to your kids? What similar things have you done in your ministry to challenge the way kids think?

You'll Catch More Flies with Honey than With Vinegar

I heard this phrase once while doing a youth lesson with some boys in my youth program. I probably heard it before that, but it's one of those sayings that has stuck since then and I find myself using it a lot--even with my daughter at home. You don't have to be a rocket surgeon to figure out what it means but here's my loose translation--"You'll get more of what you want out of life by being nice, than by being mean, belligerent, annoying, etc." Well, since I work in the field of ministry, you would think that would go without saying for the people and companies I deal with on a regular basis.

There is a particular company that I've had dealings with over the majority of my ten-year stint as a youth minister. The first time I dealt with them, I got a phone call and they were up front that they were a Christian publishing house and had just created a new curriculum they would like for me to preview. I agreed to preview it and send it back if I didn't want to keep it and pay for it if I did. Well, I forget if I actually kept that study or not, but I'm pretty sure I sent it back. Well, about every three months or so, I would get another call from the same company wanting me to preview another study course. I eventually became good at finding new ways not to talk to their representatives or to politely, but firmly, hang up the phone when I did find myself with one of their fishhooks in my lip!

Fast forward about 4 years. After a two-year sabbatical from youth ministry and starting over at a new church, I got a phone call from the same company (not at the church office, but on my cell phone!) telling me about a new study they had. I told them that was great. A week later I got a packet from them in my office asking me to preview it. I didn't even realize I had agreed to anything! Two years after that, I'm still getting phone calls from the same people. This morning, I asked our church secretary to screen a call that I suspected might be fishy. Well, she got dooped and there I was picking up line 1 to talk to these sneaky envoys of Christian truth. Having tasted that lure before, I spit it out before the representative had time to set the hook!

So, here is the focus of today's blog post. Should Christian companies limit their marketing strategies to methods that are less invasive? While there is nothing sinful about asking someone to check something out then send it back if you don't want it, it's really annoying after about the fourth or fifth time you've done it. Also, there is a lot of deception that is used to try to get through to someone and then try to get them to do something without them realizing they are doing it or to push their comfort zone when they try to refuse something. I am to the point that I don't care if this company has the most effective, biblically-sound, life-changing study course known to humanity--I AM NOT INTERESTED! While they obviously put a lot of thought and time into their resources, why can't they market them through Group or Youth Specialties. So my question to those of you in youth ministry or other areas of church work, do you agree with me? At what point does a "Christian" company cross lines to try to get their product out there?

Does Technology in Ministry Have to be Cutting Edge?

Recently, a friend of mine, Russell Martin, blogged about the goals of websites in ministry. His question, based on a conversation we had about a website we had a mutual interest in, was that when we create a website for our ministry or our church, is our goal to get people to our website or to get people to our church? I have a similar question as well about the role of technology in ministry.

I recently took over our church's website. In the last 24 months, the approach to web development seems to have drastically changed as the shift has migrated from having static information about your program available on the web, to having constantly changing, updated information that comes to your "followers" through Twitter, Facebook, blog feeds, or email subscriptions. No longer are you trying to direct traffic to your site, but rather you're trying to direct your site to others. As for me, I am involved with an older congregation, most of whom probably have computers with internet connections. However, does that mean that every technology available is going to be right for our church? For example, out of 230 people who regularly attend services, we have 53 who follow us via our Facebook fan page. Conversely, of the numerous random people who are following us on Twitter, only one of those is a church member and she actually had never used Twitter before signing up to follow our church website!

So, should I continue to progress in our technological capabilities by allowing our church members new ways of keeping up with our church (i.e. podcasting as opposed to online audio), or continue to use the methods that our congregation is comfortable with? I think the answer lies in what your congregation is comfortable with. Here's why.

1. Technology is scary to some people. For many, the simpler the better. If you do not serve a bunch of IT personnell and web developers, don't be afraid to keep your communications simple.
Not only will people be more likely to use it because they are comfortable with it, but they won't feel compelled to change just so they can stay up-to-date with your group.

2. There are so many portals available for people to receive information (Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, blogging, Posterous, Email, StumleUpon, LinkedUp, iphone apps, Blackberry apps...etc.), that it's easy for information to get lost in the shuffle and you can spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to send information to all these media that may or may not ever be used by anyone in your organization.

3. Being "cutting edge" is a relative concept. So while a new smartphone app or social media site my be the next big thing to a very tech-savvy person, for many simply having a Facebook page is just as revolutionary. You don't have to be cutting edge with the world to be cutting edge with your followers!

What have been your experiences using technology in ministry?

Is Having Things in Common with Your Students a Pre-requisite for Ministry?

It seems I spend a lot of my time in ministry behind a desk learning how to make the most of the time I have with our kids and working on other projects I take care of here at our church. Also, our church has a pretty rigid policy which speaks against a lot of one-on-one ministry time that I've had with students in other churches where I've worked. So most ministry has to be done in a fairly formal setting. Well, this week, a couple of my students came up to help us pass out door-hangers in the neighborhood to advertise for our Christmas Eve Service. I got a chance to just hang out with a couple of my guys for a little while and I learned something in that time.

I've always been aware that I don't have many of the same intrests as the kids in my youth group. And the older I get, this issue doesn't get any better. While we all like music, we like completely different kinds. I love to follow sports and watch them on TV. I like the outdoors and enjoy hunting and fishing in my spare time. I also work with my dad doing ranch work, building fence, vaccinating cows, putting out feed. While these are the things I spend most of my leisure time doing, my students are not into any of these things really. In our group of nearly 20 kids who come on a regular basis, I have two who play basketball in a very small school district that really has few other offerings in terms of extra-curricular activities. My kids don't enjoy hunting or fishing and certainly wouldn't be found sticking a vaccinating needle in calf. While these are the things that I do and enjoy, most of them really enjoy video games, modern music, and the latest tech gadgets available. As I attempted to visit with these two guys in my group yesterday, I realized I had nothing to contribute to their discussion of "Call of Duty: Modern Warfare", or "Split Second", the soon-to-be-released action racing game. I didn't know anything about how the controls worked, or what special weapons you could get. Aside from reading part of GameInformer magazine last month (a feeble attempt at exploring their world), I had almost nothing to say. This got me thinking.

How critical is it that I share the same interests with the students I'm called to reach? Obviously being a guy I will have less in common with the girls in my group, but really, how much of a factor is it that I don't know how to get the super photon blaster on level 5, or I don't listen to Paramore or All-American Rejects? As I think about this, I look back at the ministry of Jesus. He was a carpenter, but many of his disciples came from other vocations (fisherman, tax collectors, etc.). So what was the common bond they talked about? Logically, I think it was the things of God. But we know that Jesus used his knowledge of their interests to help them understand certain things (i.e. become a fisher of men). So I'm asking you. How critical is it for someone to have the same interests as someone in order to build a deeper relationship with them? You can also respond to this question at MinistryQuestions.com.

Bringing Christmas Home

I blogged a few days ago that this year it just doesn't feel like Christmas...for a number of reasons. The fact is, though, that our second year of marriage has been a trying one for my wife and I. Not because our relationship is that bad, or anything like that. But on two occasions this year (and one last year) we went through the pain and loss of a miscarriage. Now, I know there are people who have lost loved ones and part of me feels bad even mentioning what we've been through. But for a young family with hopes and dreams of bringing a new life into the world, these losses have been difficult. We've also endured some unexpected health problems and have been searching for answers from people who know a lot more than we do.

Well, since our home hasn't really felt "Christmasy", I knew bringing Christmas to our house rested with me. Due to a number of factors, we aren't financially where we were a couple of years ago, so getting excited about Christmas wasn't easy. But reluctantly, I stopped by the storage building on my way home Monday night and picked up our tree, some lights, and some decorations. As I walked into the house, I was reminded of Clark Griswold in National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. At one point when the family Christmas disaster has reached its climax and everyone is about to get in their cars (or RVs) and drive home, Clark goes on a tyrade and says that no one is going anywhere. Then he makes a very emotional statement saying that "We are going to have the happ-happ-happiest (*expletive*) Christmas since Bing Crosby danced with Danny (*expletive*) Kaye! When the smoke cleared, everyone stuck around and they truly had a happy Christmas.

In some ways, this year, I felt like I forced Christmas on my family (much like Clark Griswold). But now that we've decorated, it feels like Christmas in our house and our hearts are lighter. What's striking to me was that maybe we weren't really in the mood to have Christmas, but we chose celebrate the season for what it is. While Christmas is a holiday, I think a lot of things that are religious in nature need to be done deliberately, even when we are not in the mood. And what usually happens is that our hearts are blessed in the process. But if we only do what we are in the "mood" for, we can miss out on a tremendous blessing.

Just Doesn't Feel Like Christmas

Last year, my family and I had a very memorable Christmas. The weekend after Thanksgiving I was out hanging lights on the outside of the house (a first for me), and we put up our 7ft tall tree right in the living room. We did probably more than we should have in terms of Christmas shopping. And the wonderful day was met with great anticipation. This year things are just...well...different. It's nearly ten days before Christmas and I'm just now getting around to putting up a miniature version of last year's tree. There are no lights on the house, and we've barely done any Christmas shopping. Maybe we're just tired. Maybe because the recently-acquired recliner cuts into the amount of available space for a tree. Maybe it's because we now have a cat who we know will make a destructive hay day out of a full-sized tree. Maybe it's because we've felt the disappointment and loss of two miscarriages this year. Maybe... well...

This year, it just doesn't feel quite like Christmas--for me anyway. And maybe I'm not the only one who feels this way. But with Christmas comes the message of hope. It's the message that when Christ comes into the world, things are never the same. So for me, the message of Christmas is not something that happens once a year. It must be a daily reality. Sometimes life causes us to lose track of what's really going on in life. We all experience hardships, loss, and heartache. I hope that we can all remember, though that as Peter walked out on the water, it was his circumstances that caused him to sink and the hand of Jesus that kept him above the water.

No matter what you've experienced this year, and how you choose to reflect on it, that we can all remember that there is something greater than this world that is watching us. God bless.